tunnel vision

I've been on this frugal living/minimizing lifestyle path for a while now.
It's been long enough that I sometimes forget that not everyone around me thinks this way.

A co-worker was recently talking about budgeting concerns and questions. I had trouble remembering the first steps I took on this path. To talk about where I'm at now might sound restrictive and a little crazy.

That I enjoy tracking my budget with Quicken to the dollar (in most areas of my life, I am not this obsessive, really!). That going out to coffee is a luxury that happens maybe twice a year. Let's take a walk instead! That I will delay watching movies until I can get them from the public library, to save that Redbox dollar. That not buying furniture or linens or new clothes (I do make a clothes exception for my family, particularly the older teen) is a way of life. That I pass by the dark beer and red wine, both of which I love (in moderation of course), at the grocery store. I haven't had my hair cut in a salon since I was 17 (I do it myself) and I cut my husband and boys' hair too.

I would have shuddered and run at a vision of this lifestyle when I was younger. But I really appreciate the awareness now of the difference between needs and wants. I love small luxuries, and I really enjoy them when I indulge in them now, since they are less frequent--like good chocolate, a glass of wine, a mocha out. I also feel so much better to know that I can live on less, and save.

It sounds restrictive, but it actually brings me a greater sense of peace and freedom. But where to start? How to explain? Luckily, another coworker had some great suggestions for my friend: Keep track of everything you spend for two weeks. Write it all down. Write down your monthly bills, when they are due, and when your paycheck comes in, so that you don't overdraw. Such good advice! And I realized how far I have come (still have a long ways to go), personal finance-ways.

Living paycheck to paycheck is not something I think about. I'm extremely fortunate because I have a relatively stable, above minimum-wage job. I don't have to make the monthly choices of: buy gas for the car, or food? Pay for medication, or pay the electric bill? But there are surely people in my position who do worry about running out of money at the end of the month. Instead, I would rather see what I can live without, and make it a game to see how little I can spend on groceries (and still eat and feed my family  tasty, healthy food) each month. It's kind of fun.

Is that strange?

be kind

Sometimes, there are those days when I have to take a deep breath and remember these words: be kind.
To myself, my loved ones, those around me.

There are days when it would be so easy to let myself get worked up in irritation, anger or self-righteousness.
And it is so much better to stop and remember that everyone is doing the best they can.
To give the benefit of a doubt.

To remember that looking back, I will be so glad to say "Oops--oh well, we're learning!" instead of scolding when a teen forgot his new weekly job. Or "Thank you for coming to get me!" instead of "I left work thirty minutes early and spent them waiting for you in the rain" when my husband made a special trip downtown to pick me up. Or "If I seem irritable it's because I didn't sleep enough and my eyes are tired--it is nothing to do with you, and I love you" to cut off the insecurities at the pass, those we all have.

At work: instead of feeling micromanaged and resenting it, to say "We have the same goals and you are trying to teach me from your experience. This way feels more comfortable to me because of xyz. I'd like to try it like this and check back in with you".

And with myself: I laughed and mopped it up instead of getting mad when I flooded the bathroom in my rush to get a morning shower and out the door (darn untucked shower curtain). I sighed, and said I'll do better tomorrow, when I had a second calzone at dinner. I forwent plans for washing the ceilings and sat on the couch with my boy and a big cat because I was tired. And I won't be disappointed in myself. I'll get to it tomorrow. And I did something kind with my sweet boy, who wants to use the money he saved up himself buying bees and geese for families far away, through Heifer International.

minimizing monday

When do things get to a point that is  recognizably "less"?
I'm wondering about this now, waiting to dip below that critical mass (can you say reach critical mass if you are trying to diminish the mass?)

Despite the items moved out last week...lots and lots of ladybugs items...my home feels quite, quite cluttered.
It's the small things more than the big things--though it's everything. Papers, mail, magazines, books, and shoes seem to be the things that are permanently strewn around creating the feeling of lots and lots of red ants biting rather than lots and lots of ladybugs. I know I need systems to deal with these items. I have been putting off this process until our lovely Attic Addition is habitable, because at that point the bags of tools and pieces of insulation, wood, and Hardiboard lying around (hmm, could be contributing to the red ants biting sensation) will be gone. Then I will have a better idea of the space that is actually here to work with.

However, as the wise Vappu from Life Should Be the Cat's Meow stated, organizing doesn't work if you have too many things. It just doesn't. It takes a tremendous amount of energy with little return. Better to minimize first, and then organize.

I am moving along, moving slowly. This morning I took two coats back to my neighbor, who had given them to us for me and p'tit minou deux but weren't being worn ( I also took her a miniature plum berry pie).
I have three bags of books set aside to sell or donate. One bag of random donations to go out, and another bag of clothing to try and sell (this is so much harder for me, somehow). I also have a stack of maps to go to an artists' materials recycling cooperative that came from the big cabinet. And P'tit Minou Deux and I have a date to make our traditional holiday snowflakes today--we will cut up a map to do it!

It's progress. I wish it was moving more quickly, but it's progress.

happy at home

It is so nice to have some time to be home.

This last week I have been struggling with a cold that just won't go away.
In an effort to heal and boost my health, I have been trying to sleep lot and lots
(propped up on pillows to breathe), have been swilling green tea by the gallon (& little coffee),
and drinking green smoothies for breakfast every day.
Fresh pressed apple juice, frozen blueberries, bananas and peaches, and big handfuls of chard or kale.
Delicious. So nutritious. I love to start the day with something green.

Now: the start to the weekend. A Friday evening grocery trip with Minou to replenish the bare cupboards, and a plan for cozy cooking tomorrow: leek and potato soup, pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, homemade pizza, and blueberry pie. I love to bake, and like to bake several things together when the oven is hot.

Keeping these p'tit minous fed is a constant job. P'tit minou deux has been requesting a second supper every evening, usually at lights-out time. Unless I'm on my own way to bed, I don't argue; we go back downstairs and it gives me a chance to get a vitamin and another fruit and veggie into him as well as another serving of dinner or a pbj. We have worried a bit over this one and his light appetite over the years, so I enjoy watching him eat. He is 13 now. I'm expecting to look up and find him as tall as me any day now.

This weekend I will also be making a trip to the home-improvement superstore with Minou when he goes to buy supplies for the attic. Drywall is next. We'll be sleeping there soon. I'm planning to buy painter's tape and get our downstairs ready to paint before my mother-in-law arrives for a visit in three weeks. We have had had warm, bright colors in our living space for several years now. It was my choice, an antidote to the winter gray here. The living room has a long red wall (dark brick red) and bright sunflower yellow walls. I'm tired of it now. I want a look that is more serene, peaceful. Our ceilings will stay white, and the floor downstairs is an off-white tile. For the walls, I have been going back and forth between a true white, off-white, and a pale tan/taupe.

What do you think? What would look more serene?

lots and lots of ladybugs

I just watched the movie Under the Tuscan Sun. Minou watched it too, and even P'tit Minou Un enjoyed it, to my surprise. If you're not familiar with the film, a lonely, recently divorced writer from San Francisco impulsively decides to buy and renovate an ancient Tuscan villa.

I really liked several of its themes, such as the belief in "signs", and the need to sometimes make impulsive decisions when they feel right. The main character wished for several things in her new home--a wedding, a family, a community. When she made the wish, she envisioned that she would be the one getting married and  having a baby. At the end of the movie, she realized that although that hadn't happened, in fact all her wishes had come true--though not in the way she first dreamed of.

There is another part of the movie I liked. As she searches for love and companionship, the main character is unhappy when it appears to elude her. An older friend tells her the story of searching for ladybugs as a child. She would search and search, without finding a single ladybug. When the young girl finally gave up and fell asleep, she woke up covered with ladybugs. Lots and lots of ladybugs, crawling all over her....just the thing she was searching for, when she finally stopped searching.

Where am I going with this? Sometimes, as an aspiring minimalist living a family life, there are frustrating spells of time. Suggestions of minimizing family possessions are met with howls of protest or solid resistance. So in quiet defeat (so dramatic, I know) I cease to think about it for awhile, taking a break from the downsizing process.

And then one day, my teenage son comes to me out of the blue and says "I don't want this piece of furniture anymore".

And then "These hooks" (which are consummate entryway clutter collectors) "remind me of preschool. Can't we take them out?"

And my husband and son say "This shoe box is ugly; let's get rid of it."

And to top it all off, my husband says "I don't think we need to keep that couch anymore."

And then I load said shoe box and piece of furniture up in the car, and drive them off to donate, hoping that someone can use them. And I enlist said son with the drill to remove the clutter-collecting hooks. The couch will stay a little longer, until after my mother-in-law's visit.
And I enjoy the new space...
Lots and lots of ladybugs.

we've got windows

Look! Up in the sky! It's so exciting....

The windows are here!

We are going to feel like birds in the trees from our attic perch.

And now...

The first one is in!

(Minou had to look away as our friend W. gesticulated and leaned way up there...I'm thankful that he isn't the one climbing that high ladder. Our friend's wife came to lunch mid-day and even she didn't like to see W. up there, comfortable as he is 30 feet in the air).

Do you have any home projects going on these days?

sorting

Usually in our home, it's Minou who prefers to hold onto things. He is sentimental and a historic preservationist to boot. So when he suggests sorting things, I jump into action before he changes his mind, and never ask "Are you sure?".

As we convert our storage attic into a sleeping space, a lovely Attic Addition, we need a new storage site. We don't have excessive amounts of things to store, but there are some. Camping gear, suitcases, younger-kid toys, and boxes of papers and letters and mementos and such.

It's the papers that are the most difficult.

Our plan is to create a storage space under the stairs. What is currently under the stairs is a large metal cabinet intended for architectural drawings, which Minou rescued from an office where he used to work. It's so big that when we built our little house, we had to build in a space there, a hole in the wall, so that it would fit.

It has to go. It will go to the garage, so that if Minou ever has his own office space out of the house it could still be used. But in the meantime, the top half of it is full of family things that need sorting.

Art paper.



Kids art and school work, organized (mostly) by year...



Framed artwork we are rotating, and National Geographic maps.



Framed family photos and artwork awaiting frames.



Oh it's a big job.