intentions

Intentions. They are the guide, the pointer.
Imagine a child preparing to take a turn at the pinata at a birthday party.
Blindfolded, she is spun around and around, and then sets out with her stick in the direction she thinks the pinata hangs, swinging wildly. Sometimes she is heading in the opposite direction.

When we take off our blindfolds and point ourselves in the direction we want to go, we make progress.
We may not break the pinata and be showered with candy, but we are getting closer to it.
(I'm not sure this metaphor is working, but you get the idea).

I have so many intentions in so many directions.
Sometimes I feel like I'm spinning in circles because I'm not sure which way to head first.

I find myself thinking and worrying about finances quite a bit. It's not a bad thing, but it can become a mental groove that I am stuck in. This is really not where I want my life's energy and intentions to be focused. Security for my family and myself  is important, but fretting is not productive and is a limitation. Our time here is limited. I'm middle aged--yikes! Where do my intentions really lie?

Growth. Spirituality. Relationships. Creativity.

Last night, I sat down for my nightly Sitting and could not turn off my monkey mind. What was worse was that I didn't really want to. It was much easier and more comfortable to go around and around the questions of the mortgage and retirement savings and how to pay for college than it was to focus on Love and Kindness.

I want to set concrete goals and take steps toward them in the areas of my life, such as finances, that I tend to worry about--to put them on auto-pilot. Instead of worrying each month how much extra I can put toward the mortgage, I can make a lump-sum payment now, and stop thinking about it. Instead of fretting about the ever-increasing food bill, I can plan meals and use the envelope system. That way, I am working on goals and making progress, even if incremental, and can let go of the fretting.

Then I can  focus my life energy on the core values.