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Thursday, January 3, 2013


Gosh, it's hard. Will it get easier?
The first evening, I sat alone (on Sheepie), but forgot to hang a "do not disturb" sign down the ladder.
So many calls, questions, "What should I prep for dinner? Where is the xyz?"
Also, with part of my mind I was repeating
"I breathe in love...I breathe out kindness..."
I was happy with that part.
The other part of my mind, the part that kept running away from me, was flashing from one thing
to another with lightning speed. Flickering through all kinds of random thoughts, emotions, pictures.
I wasn't happy with that part.
What was interesting was that the two things were happening simultaneously.
And yet another part kept saying "My knees hurt. Are we finished yet? This is taking forever.
It must have been twenty minutes already. When will the music start? My toes itch..."
and then just when I finally relaxed into it a bit and forgot to wonder when the time would be up...
it was.
I think it helped me feel a tiny bit more calm and bemused at dinner, however, when someone whispered confidentially that the potato gratin dish I had prepared made them want to vomit. Can't please everyone!
And although I looked forward to sitting all day yesterday (sort of),
I had an evening meeting after dinner, then walked the dog, then watched an episode of House en famille
(it's hard to turn up a chance to snuggle on the couch between Minou and P'tit Minou Un),
and then it was ten o'clock and time for bed...
and then did I sit?
yes. but not for long. in the dark. waiting for the music to start so I could go to bed.

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